Intervention
by imonthiswebsitewaytoomuch
Summary: Kyle and Stan are on there senior year of high school and they've been in an open relationship for two years. Suddenly, everyone starts sharing their true feelings; everyone is under the impression the Kyle is only dating Stan as favor because he is Stan's best friend. Kyle is on a mission to set everyone straight, even if he has to show them a world where Stan never asked him out.
1. Chapter 1

Gym requirements. Most of them aren't terrible. Like kickball, soccer, football and basketball. I can play all of those decently well, especially basketball. I'm the best at basketball and everyone in my gym class knows it. Whenever the coach has us play basketball, I'm always the first picked. Always. That being said, I suck at baseball. I'm terrible at it. That might have to do with the fact that I absolutely hate the sport and find it incredibly boring but yeah. I suck at it. Unfortunately, we are required by the state to do a different team sport each month, which the exception of the one week of sexual education, for gym class. And guess what sport we're doing this month? You got it: baseball. Fucking baseball.

"Dude, I hate this."

Stan gave me a sympathetic smile, "I know."

He can't really relate, he loves baseball. Probably because he's good at it, he's good at every sport, it seems like.

"Alright," the coach barked, "line up!"

I groaned internally and dragged my feet over to Stan who had practically raced to the line. The only bright side to this stupid game is that I know I'll be on Stan's team. It doesn't matter if the team captains are Craig and Clyde or Tweek and Token, they always put me and Stan on the same when we play baseball. They know I'll play better. Because if Stan's on my team, he encourages me to pretend to care. Without him, I don't give a shit.

"Okay, team captains are Tucker and Cartman." Coach yelled while sitting back in his signature lawn chair. Wow, it must have be so hard to get this job.

"He's like a glorified babysitter." I mutter.

Kenny, who was in line on the other side of me, chuckled.

"Ey! Kenny! You're on my team." Cartman called from in front of the line.

Kenny sauntered up next to Cartman and looked at the line, "Welp. I'm on the losing team." Everyone thought that was pretty funny except Cartman who started ranting off about how great he is at sports. Which is utter crap.

"Dude, if he keeps that up people will start thinking he's 'funny'" a Stan whispered to me while elbowing me in the side.

"He probably is! He's the biggest closet case I've ever met." I said, thinking back to all the times he used to dress in drag as a kid. Not to mention that time he wanted me to suck his balls. _Which didn't happen,_ no matter what anyone else says.

Stan snickered next to me and I cracked a grin. I was about to further ridicule Cartman when suddenly Craig shouted, "Broflovski, you're on my team"

As I went to walk towards Craig, Stan smacks my backside lightly and says,"Good luck out there." I turn back to look at him and he's sporting a cheeky smile, while everyone around him looked slightly uncomfortable. Even though Stan and I came out as couple two years ago, in sophomore year, not all the guys we hang out with are totally comfortable with us acting all...well gay. They're trying though and I guess that's what matters. Last week Clyde asked us how often we fuck and when Stan told him about five times a week, he declared it to be "nice." So I guess that's something. But when we actually share any physical affection or words of endearment in front of them, that's when they start getting uncomfortable. Stan thinks this means that should do these things more often and not that I mind, I just don't think that is the way to go about it. But then again, I don't know how to go about it.

So I stood next to Token and Tweek, who Craig had already picked to be on his team. I'm pretty sure Craig and Tweek are an item. They eat lunch together everyday off by themselves in the library and they pretty much never leave each other's sides. But whenever I ask Tweek about it, he just screams, "No, man! That's gay!" and gets this really nervous look in his eyes. So that would be really suspicious if it were anyone but Tweek. He always acts like that.

"Stan!" Cartman suddenly shouted.

"What, fatass?"

Cartman growled, " You're on my team."

Stan quickly look from him to me and then back to him, "Uh, no I'm not."

"Yes you are! I chose you so you have to be on my team."

"Just do what he says, Marsh." The coach said while opening what seems to be the latest _Sports Illustrated._

Fuck. I hate not being on Stan's team. Looks like I'm going to get a shitty grade in here today. Stan looked at me with sad eyes and mouthed 'I'm sorry.' I waved him off. I don't need him to do everything with me. It's just nice when it works out that way.

Craig and Cartman continued going back and forth until the last person, Butters, was finally picked. Our team got stuck with him and it's not that he sucks at sports, it's that he's always asking people if they're okay and it takes time away from the game. And also he sucks at sports. The teams are pretty evenly split; Cartman has Stan, Token, Jason and Wendy, who are all incredibly good at sports. I'm pretty sure Wendy gave Kenny a black eye from the last time we played dodgeball. She acted sorry about it but you could tell that she was secretly proud of it. And on our team, Craig had chosen Clyde, Kevin Stoley, Bebe and Red as our good players. They rest of us, including me, were just kind of there.

"Because I have Butters, we're up to bat first." Craig stated.

Cartman gave a shocked look and sputtered, "What? That's not fair! We have fucking Wendy! You don't see me claiming bat first."

Stan groaned,"You chose Wendy, Fatass. And she's really good at baseball! Let them have bat first."

I saw Wendy lean in and whisper a 'thank you' to Stan. A wave of jealousy wash over me. I know she's not competition. I _know_ that. I just can't stop picturing them making out at the lunch table in ninth grade any time I see them too close together. I know, it's stupid, but I can't help it. I think I'll always be jealous of her. I mean, she had him first. In more ways than one.

I was jolted back to reality when Butters grabbed me by the arm," Come on, we're up first! Thanks to me sucking and all." He flashed a naive smile.

"Yeah, thanks Butters." I muttered as I was to the line behind Craig who was swinging his bat in preparation.

We were playing baseball inside the gym, because the field was covered in snow, like always. So instead of using an actual baseball, we were using a whiffle ball. Token started throwing his arm around, trying to loosen up so he could pitch. He looked like he was trying to scratch his back.

I made a face and leaned towards Tweek, who was standing in line behind me, "Dude, he looks like he's about to snap his arm off.

"Oh, Jesus!"

The coach let out a growl, "Alright, remember: you can throw the ball at someone to get them out but if you hit them in the head, they're still in. Alright, play ball!"

Token threw his arm back back and then sent the ball flying. Craig hit it with ease and it went sailing over to Jason on third base. He tried to catch it but it just slipped from his grip. Craig took off towards Wendy on first base.

"Go for second!" Red shouted.

Craig stopped on first and looked back at her, "Are you crazy? They had Cartman waiting for me on second. I'd be out!"

"No, you wouldn't have. Now you're just going to be in my way." Red snapped as she picked up the bat.

Red and Craig have never really gotten along. Not since the time he said that 'she smelled like a whore' and she responded back, 'at least I'm not a closeted, faggot!' Yeah, so they don't really like each other.

"Craig's not in her way. Craig's fast, he'll make it to the next base." Tweek muttered.

Okay, so my suspicions are their relationship are growing. "Yeah, he'll make it." I reassured him. Which, I don't know why I did that. I don't care about this game and I definitely don't care about Craig. He's a dick to Stan. But Tweek's okay.

"Fucking play, Red!" Cartman yelled.

"Alright! Pitch!"

Token threw the ball at a slight angle and gave it a curve. Red barely tapped it but the coach yelled, "It's in play!" and she took off. Craig rounded to second and made it there safely and Red made it to first.

Stan groaned, "Come on guys, lets get them out!"

Craig flipped him off in response. Dick.

Clyde got up to bat and gripped his hands around the handle. He made this face like he was gritting his teeth. His lips were all twisted up like he was trying to look intimidating. I looked over to Stan to make sure he was seeing this.

He was standing in the outfield and I caught his eye.

"Are you seeing this?" I mouthed.

He nodded vigorously, "I know!" He mouthed back.

Token, looking at Clyde straight on, rolled his eyes and threw him the ball underhanded. He hit it with the bat and it made a loud SMACK. It flew up and then down and then fell right into Stan's hands.

"Out!" Coach yelled.

"This is bullshit!" Clyde snapped and threw down the bat.

"Shut the fuck up, Clyde." Stan laughed and threw Token back the ball.

"It's okay, baby." Bebe said as Clyde passed her.

"Hey, Kyle?" Butters nudged me. He was about to bat, and he was shaking the bat between his hands. "Can you bat before me?"

"Uh," I rubbed the back of my neck. I fucking hate baseball, but he looks so pathetic. "Yeah, okay. I'll go next." He smiled and handed me the bat and I stepped up to the plate.

"Whoo! Kyle!" Stan cheered from the outfield.

"Yeah, whoo." I muttered and got in position to hit the ball.

Token threw his arm back and released the ball. Not gonna lie, I closed my eyes. But I felt the ball make contact with the bat so I started to run until the coach yelled, "Foul!" Of course I got a fucking foul. I did the walk of shame back to the plate.

"I'm telling you, Jews can't play sports!" Cartman shouted.

"Fuck you, Lardass!" I screamed back. I gripped the bat. I wasn't going to close my eyes this time. "Pitch!" I barked and Token sent the whiffle ball flying. I bunted it and it flew into the infield. I sprinted towards first base while Craig and Red went racing for their next bases. I felt the whiffle ball fly past me and it almost hit me but it was off by a few inches. I slide onto the first base before Wendy could tag me.

"He's safe." Wendy called.

"Yay, Kyle!"

"Shut the fuck up, Stan! You're on my team!" Cartman shouted and glared at Kyle from second base.

Wendy put her face in her hands, "He's such a jackass."

"I know." I said.

Wendy breathed deeply and put her hand on my shoulder. This is weird. She's supposed to be guarding first base, not acting like she's about to give a lecture.

"Kyle, I need to talk to you."

I pulled her hand off of me. "Okay?"

She shook her head, "Not now."

Okay, she is acting really weird. Wendy and I don't talk. And it's not just because she used to date Stan, we're always put against each other. We're always in competition with each other. Currently we're in the race to be the valedictorian. We're tied right now but I think I have a pretty good shot at beating her.

So this, this right here was weird.

"Wendy, what's going on?"

"I just, I need to talk to you. But later. At my house."

I looked at her incredulously, "Your house?"

I side glanced at Butters who was getting ready to bat. I got in a position to run.

"Yes, at my house. Can you come by around five?" She got in a defensive pose, ready to catch the ball if it were to come her way.

"Tonight?" I asked. I was gonna play video games with Stan tonight but if Wendy's thing really is important, I guess I could try to do that.

"Yes." She said as Butters finally struck out.

"Okay."

Tweek got up to bat and when Token threw the ball at him, Tweek screamed and swung the bat. It went all the way to the back of the gym.

"Run, Tweek! Run!" Craig screamed as he took off towards home. Red was right on his tail, getting ready to round third. I started off towards second when I saw Stan get the whiffle ball in the outfield out of the corner of my eye.

"Cartman!" Stan yelled as he threw the ball towards him. Cartman caught it with ease and I knew I was screwed. I couldn't go to second because Cartman would tag me out and I couldn't go back to first because Tweek had already made it there. Just as I was about to stop running, Cartman got this devious smile on his face and threw the ball as hard as he could right at me.

"Ah!" I screamed and grabbed my crotch and my knees hit the floor. I can't think. I can't think. All I can think about is how much this hurts.

"Fuck!" I cried out.

I suddenly felt hands start to rub my back and shush me. "It's okay, baby." Stan soothed. I couldn't really focus my vision on much but I could tell that some of the guys cringed at that.

I felt tears start to leak out of my eyes as Stan started to blow up on Cartman.

"Cartman, what the fuck?" He yelled.

Cartman feigned innocence, "What Stan? We're on the same team! You should be happy that I got him out."

"Yeah, well you didn't have to nail him in the balls!"

Cartman smirked. "Of course his balls are the only thing you care about."

Even though my vision was still kind of jacked up from the pain, I'm pretty sure Stan's jaw dropped.

"Fuck you." Stan spat.

"Alright, alright," the coach finally interrupted, "Marsh, take him to the nurse."

Stan scowled and picked me up by the shoulders. I hate that he's strong enough to do that. Being on my feet instead of the floor was somehow more humiliating. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was still holding my crotch. Everyone stared at us as Stan lead me out the gym.

"It's going to be okay, Ky." Stan whispered, glaring back at Cartman.


	2. Chapter 2

"Does it still hurt?"

The ice pack was freezing on my hands but it was doing it's job of numbing my crotch.

I looked up at Stan, "I dunno. I'm all numb."

He pulled my head over to his face and pecked me on the forehead. "I'm just glad it doesn't hurt anymore."

Suddenly, a lunch sack was tossed on our table and Kenny plopped down right in front of us.

"Hey guys! Kyle, how's your nuts?"

"Busted." I muttered.

"No way! Really?"

Stan rolled his eyes, "No, not really. He's fine."

"Oh, okay" Kenny said as he began to pull out his lunch. It looked like a slice of bologna on dry bread. Silently, I grabbed my tater tots off my tray and slide them over to Kenny. He didn't acknowledge where they came from and he began munching on them. That's how it always works with Kenny. I can't make giving him food a big deal or he won't accept it. And that's fine with me because it isn't a big deal.

"Ky?" Stan grabbed my arm.

"What?" I shook his arm off, "I'm trying to eat my sandwich while holding an ice pack to my dick. What do you want?"

"I could hold the ice pack for you, Kyle." Kenny said with a smirk.

Stan shot him a glare, "I was just wondering if we were still on for tonight."

"On for banging?"

I rolled my eyes, "No. Well maybe. Depends. We were gonna play _Bioshock_ tonight."

Stan grabbed my arm again, "We still are right? I want to finally get that stupid girl."

Shit. I have to tell him that I'm going over to Wendy's for some unknown reason after school. Hopefully whatever the hell she wants won't take up too much time. Then I can just run over to Stan's and play _Bioshock._ And other stuff.

"Yeah," I started easing into the news. "We're still gonna do that. It's just I won't be able to come over right after school."

Stan rose his eyebrow, "Why? You have a debate meeting or something?"

Ha. Even if I had a debate team meeting, I skip it. I fucking hate debate team. My mom made me sign up because, "It'll look good to colleges, bubbe! Besides you argue all the time, by now you must be a pro." Well, she wasn't wrong. I am really good on debate team; I've won our team five consecutive competitions. But I fucking hate the people on the debate team. Cartman is on the team and I hate him for obvious reasons. Wendy is on the team and I hate her because she's always trying to show me up while pretending to care about my feelings. And Token is on the team too. And he's fucking douchebag. He's only on the team to get another shot at Wendy. But anyway.

"Uh, no. But I'm going to Wendy's right after school."

Stan looked at me like he just found out that I was his cousin. "Why?" He questioned, bewildered.

"She asked me to come over. She said she needed to talk to me."

"She wants to bone you." Kenny deadpanned.

Stan chucked his milk at Kenny, which he dodged gracefully. "No, she does not."

"I bet you she does. That's why he wants him to come over. To _talk_. Talking never really means talking. Just like _watching netflix_ never means watching netflix."

"Come on Kenny, no she does not. Besides, she sounded pretty serious. I bet she just wants to talk about valedictorian stuff." I said and stuffed the last bite of my sandwich into my mouth.

"Do you think she'll ask you to back down?" Stan asked and bit his lip. Okay, holy crap that was cute. Does he try to do that?

I shrugged, "I dunno maybe."

He started running his hands through my hair. God, if there's one way to put me in a good mood, it's playing with my hair. I smiled and made a happy 'mmm' sound.

"Will you two stop fucking in public?" Cartman slammed his tray down and sat next to Kenny.

I decided to ignore him. If that fat bastard thinks that he can get away with nailing me in the groin, then he is sadly mistaken.

Stan on the other hand, indulged him. "We're not fucking." He said as he continued to run his fingers through my hair.

"Then why is the Jew making sex noises?"

Stan shook his head, "Those aren't sex noises." He paused for a second and smiled, "I would know. Huh, Kyle?" He tried to grab my side while I batted him away, scowling.

"Gross." Cartman stated.

Stan went back to playing with my curls, "Those are his happy noises. He's purring."

I turned to look at him, "I do not fucking _pur._ "

"Oh yes, you do!"

I glared at him and stuck out my tongue. He smirked, grabbed my face and pulled my lips to his.

"Sick!" Cartman screeched.

I pulled away from Stan and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Wendy staring at our table. She had this sort of disappointed look on her face.

"Do you think Wendy's homophobic?" I asked.

Stan looked confused and taken back by the question. He turned to look at Wendy, who was sitting two table behind us. She had turned away from looking at us and was having, what seemed to be an intense conversation with Bebe. "No. What makes you say that?" He questioned.

I shrugged, "Nothing, I guess."

Cartman let out a laugh, "Ha! He's just jealous. The kike thinks that Tittyburger wants you back, probably. But you don't have to worry about that Kyle. She's a hoe!"

"No, she's not Cartman. And she doesn't want me back," Stan said with a glare and began stroking my hair again, "Besides, I've got Ky, here."

"Also, you're gay." Kenny piped up. "If she even wanted to get back with you, you wouldn't say yes because you're gay."

"Well, yeah. That too."

Stan and I never really discussed sexually with anyone when we first came out.. We just said we were together. The words "I'm gay" never actually came out of our mouths. Until about a year ago, that is. I don't know what happened but suddenly, Stan would just randomly bring up his sexuallity in conversation. Then after that, everyone decided it was okay if they brought up the fact that Stan was gay in casual conversation. Stan seemed comfortable with it and even proud. I think he's actually proud to be they only openly gay sporty type kid. I think he sees himself as a role model to all the closeted kids. Which isn't a bad thing.

Me on the other hand...I don't talk about it. All anyone knows for sure is that I'm with Stan. And that's the way I want it. Because, to be honest, I don't really know what I am. I mean, girls are good looking. The idea of boobs and vagina are equally appealing. I mean, I've never fucked a girl but I think I'd like it. I've watched porn and it looks just as appealing as the gay porn Stan has. So maybe I'm bi? All I know for sure is that I love Stan.

Cartman snorted, "Stan's gayer than gay! He's a raging faggot! I'm sure he rams the Jew's ass twice a day."

I swiftly kicked him underneath the table, causing him to cry out in pain.

"What the fuck, Kyle?"

I started to get up from the lunch table, "I don't have to listen to your crap, Cartman. You're racist, sexist and homophobic and I can't fucking stand to be around you. That's what the fuck." I angrily snatched my tray off the table.

Cartman faked astonishment, "What? So I'm homophobic because I'm talking about yours and Stanley's relationship?"

Stan, ever the mediator, cut in while pinching the bridge of his nose, "No, Cartman. You're homophobic because you called me a faggot. And because you described our sexual relationship in a negative and demeaning way."

I don't know how he can explain this crap to that lardass so calmly, even though he clearly knows what he's doing.

"Well you are a faggot. And I'm sure you do ram Kyle's tight little ass. That is, if there's any extra room with that pole that's already up there." Cartman said cheekily.

Stan narrowed his eyes and went to kick Cartman just like I had, except he nailed him right in balls. _Hard._

Cartman screamed in pain, drawing everyone in the cafeteria's attention.

"That's for hurting Kyle." Stan spat and quickly got up and went with me to put our trays.

Even after all these years, Cartman is still the biggest douchebag I know.


	3. Chapter 3

Let's get something straight: I do not bottom. I never have and I never will. I'm sure it feels nice and all, because damn, Stan sure seems to enjoy it but I could never do it. I'll be honest, we tried it one time. Stan and I were a little tipsy and he said he wanted to show me how I made him feel. But when he went to do it, I totally freaked out. Like, I started shaking and crying. Stan quickly sobered up and grabbed my face and demanded to know what was wrong. I remember it felt like I couldn't breath and the only words I could say were "apple…apple…" And somehow Stan knew exactly what I meant and pulled me into his arms.

That's right. The reason I can't bottom is because of the Human Centipad incident. I can't really explain why it holds me back but it does. It does and I can't do that.

Stan says he doesn't mind bottoming though. Actually, I believe his exact words were, "Dude, I fucking love having you inside me."

So I don't know exactly where this rumor started that i was the one being "rammed by Stan," as Cartman so delicately put it. But for some reason, everyone in the school, hell, everyone in the town thinks that Stan is the one who "rams" me. You know, it was probably Cartman who started the stupid rumor.

At first, we tried to stop it and set people straight but then we thought, "Hey, this is our personal lives. Who cares what other people think?" So from then on we just ignored those comments.

Stan had already left school and was making his way home to watch Terrance and Philip until I was done with talking to Wendy or whatever. I really wish I didn't have to do this and I could of gone straight home with him.

I walk at a steady pace away from the school building towards Wendy's house. I really hope this isn't about being valedictorian. Because there is no way I'm going to step aside and let her take it. I've worked my ass off for that award and I'll be damned to just let her have it without a fight.

Wendy's house is only a couple minutes away from the school, so I am able to see it way before I reach it. All of her blinds are closed and there are no cars in the driveway. I guess her parents are out.

I gulp. That makes me even more uncomfortable. I don't want to be alone with Wendy. She's...God, I hate to say this. She's intimidating.

I shake my head. Stupid girls.

I finally make it to her house and start up her walkway, when I see the blinds rustle. Was she watching for me?

I ring the doorbell and she answers within two point five seconds.

She looks flustered and snaps, "What are you doing here?"

I narrow my eyebrows, "You told me you wanted to talk to me. At your house."

She rolls her eyes, "Yes, but I said at five. You were supposed to come at five."

 _Oh shit._ She had said that.

"See? The stupid Jew can't follow simple instructions!"

"Is _Cartman_ here?" I demand.

Wendy took a deep breath. "Yeah. Listen, you should come in. I guess we can start early."

" _We?"_ I spit out as I'm pushed inside by Wendy. She leads me into the living room where Cartman, Clyde, Token, Bebe, Craig and Butters are standing in a line.

I glance back at Wendy, who looks extremely guilty, "Okay, what the _fuck_ is going on?"

Cartman took a deep dramatic breath, "Kyle, this an intervention."

And as if they had rehearsed it, they all pulled index cards out from behind their backs.

"An intervention?! Are you kidding?" I cried.

Wendy ran her fingers through her hair in a quick girly motion. "No, Kyle. We aren't kidding. We...we think you need help."

I balled my fists, "With what? Am I studying too much? Is that what this is all about? Is this what you wanted to talk about, Wendy?" I said, my words dripping with venom.

Wendy quirked up her eyebrows, "What? No. This is about… look, you should probably sit down." She pointed at a desk chair that was facing the line.

I tug at my hair as I go to sit down, grumbling about how interventions are supposed to have people you care about host them. I don't even remotely like Wendy. I just tolerate her.

"Okay, what is this about?" I bark.

"This...is about Stan."

My jaw drops, "Stan?"

Clyde steps forward, "I'll start first. Kyle, you've always been a really cool dude. You're the best at basketball and our team would totally be shit without you. I'm glad to call you my friend. And I'm so sorry that this is happening to you dude. I know that Stan is your best friend but I don't think that means you have to do everything for him. I think you should start thinking about yourself."

I just gape at him as he steps back and Token steps forward.

"Kyle, I think that you and Stan have something special. No one's denying that. I'm just worried that your relationship is taking away your happiness and a relationship like that does that is not a healthy one. And as your friend, I want you to be happy and in a healthy relationship."

As he steps back and Bebe goes to step up, I start to shake my head and put my head in my hands. "What the _fuck are you talking about?_ "

Everyone just stared at me with wide eyes.

"Seriously. What the fuck are you guys going on about?" I demand with wild hand gestures flying.

Cartman scoffed, "Kyle this is about you not being gay and only dating Stan because he's your "Super Best Friend". Duh."

" _What?"_ I screech.

Wendy put her hand on my shoulder, "It's okay, Kyle. You don't have to defend your reasoning. We understand."

I look around the room, "You all think this?"

They all nod and Craig adds, "Well yeah, you could never detach yourself from Stan's tit."

I feel myself start to hyperventilate. If they think this, then so must the rest of the fucking student body! I love Stan! Why do they think that I would date him as a favor? Where did they even get this stupid idea?

"Cartman," I growled and anger overtook my actions. The next thing I knew I had Cartman pinned to wall.

"Get the fuck off me, Jew!"

"No! You did this, you made this up!"

Everyone starting yelling and trying to calm me down and Wendy kept putting her fucking hand on my shoulder when suddenly one voice stuck out.

"Kyle?"

I released Cartman and turned to Stan who was standing in the doorway. The room got dead silent.

"You don't lock your fucking door, Testaburger?" Cartman choked out.

Wendy shot him a death glare and then redirected her attention to Stan, "What are you doing here, Stan?"

"I came here to get Kyle. He said your talk wasn't going to take too long." He looked over at me, "I thought it was supposed to be just you and Wendy talking?"

I glared at Wendy, "Yeah, me too."

Stan could suddenly feel the tension in the air and realized that he was missing something. "What is going on here?"

"Well uh, it's an intervention."

"Shut up, Butters!"

Stan quickly looked to me, "An intervention? For who?"

"Listen Stan, maybe you should just go? We'll be done with Kyle in just-"

I cut Wendy off, "No, Wendy please, tell him. Tell him who the intervention is for and what it is about."

She just stared at me with these fucking guilting eyes.

"Fine. I'll tell him." I look at my boyfriend and I know he can see the fire in my eyes, "They don't think I'm gay for you and that I'm just dating you because you're my best friend and I would do anything for you."

Then the weirdest fucking thing happened. Even weirder than this stupid ass intervention. Stan said absoluting nothing. He just grabbed my wrist and lead me out of Wendy's house.


	4. Chapter 4

He didn't say a word the way back to his house. He kept a tight grip around my wrist and didn't let go no matter how much I tugged away from him.

"Stan?" I tried, hoping to get something out of him. I hope he doesn't think I had something to do with the intervention. _Oh God, what if he thinks that?_ What if he thinks I somehow knew about the whole thing?

I felt myself seize up with fear. Stan only gets this quiet when he's super pissed.

He pulled me all the way into his house. His dad was sitting on the couch watching some stupid cooking show. Randy, clothed only in his underwear, was yelling obscenities at the television and chugging down a gluten free beer. He didn't even notice us until Stan slammed the door behind me.

Randy looked at his son and grinned, "Stan! How was school today?"

Stan just stared at his dad and I swear, it was like you could feel the tension in the room.

Stan sighed and looked down at the floor and muttered two words. "Door bell"

Randy gaped at his son, "Uh, oh! Okay, son. I'll be down in the basement." And with that, he rushed out of the living room.

I should probably clarify why the phrase "door bell" had such an effect on Randy. You see, back when everyone had just found out about us being a couple, Randy thought it would a good idea if he and Stan came up with a code word so he wouldn't walk in on us fucking.

Stan wasn't really keen on the idea.

"Dad, I don't want to tell you when I'm having sex! That's awkward."

I remember Randy had thought it was a great idea to bring up this topic at the dinner table one of the nights I happened to be over for dinner.

Shelley had left the table as soon as the words "Listen son, I think we should have a code word for when you're ramming Kyle," and never in my life have I ever been more jealous of her. She was probably up in her room blocking out this conversation with obnoxious music and I was sitting at the table, having to endure this conversation.

"Stanley, if we don't have a code word when I come barging in on you sticking-"

"Randy, please!" Sharon thankfully interrupted.

Stan covered his face with his hands, "Dad. I lock my door. You won't be able to barge in."

"But what if I hear you? Do you really want your old man listening on you-"

"Door bell!" I interrupted with a shout.

Stan looked at me as if I had lost my mind. "What?"

"That...that could be the code word." I mumbled. Anything to shut Randy up. If he wants a code word, then fine. It's not like Stan would actually use it.

Or that's what I thought.

Stan, still gripping onto my wrist, dragged me upstairs and into his room. He slammed the door shut and locked it.

Holy fucking shit, _what the fuck is going on?_

When I voiced my thoughts, Stan just grunted and practically ripped my backpack off my shoulders.

"Dude! Be careful!" I said and rubbed my shoulders.

Stan ignored me and grabbed my face and slammed his lips on top of mine. He pulled me close so that there was no room between us.

I pulled my lips off his and looked up at him, "Are we seriously going to have sex? After what just happened at Wendy's?"

Stan avoided my gaze, "Let's get on the bed." He sat down on the edge of the bed and tugged me over to him by my belt loop.

Reluctantly, I plopped down next to him. He was really starting to weird me out.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in for another kiss.

"Stan, I really think we should talk about this." I protested and wiggled out of his grip.

Stan growled and and shot up on his feet, "Talk about what, Kyle? Talk about how all of our friends think you're dating me out of pity? Talk about how they fucking think I take advantage of you? Is that what you really want to talk about?"

I rose to my feet and grit my teeth, "Yes, I fucking want to talk about it! I don't know why you don't!" If he thought that he was going to avoid this topic with sex, he thought wrong. We need to figure out a way to set the story straight. I'm pretty sure Cartman started all of this anyways, so it shouldn't be very hard to discredit him at all.

He ran his fingers through his hair, "Because… because!"

I let out a half laugh, "Because? What kind of answer is that?"

"Shut up."

I grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to meet my gaze. His eyes were all watery…

"Stan, what's going on? What are you thinking?"

He went silent for a minute, but then he whispered, "You...you're not really dating me out of pity, right? You're not just dating me because I'm your best friend and I'm gay?"

My heart could have broke. Wendy's fucking stupid intervention had really gotten to him. I enveloped him in a hug and held him tight.

"Oh, baby, no. I'm dating you because I'm in love with you. And because you're my best friend."

Stan choked out a sob and hugged me back.

I don't know how it happened but we ended up laying on Stan's bed, holding each other close. He was playing with my hair with one hand and rubbing his nose with the other.

"So… they think you're not gay at all?"

I nodded, "That's what it sounded like. I can't believe Cartman did this."

Stan sniffed, "How do you know it was Cartman who started it?"

I rolled my eyes, "Please, when it is ever not Cartman?"

He tugged on my curls, which made me flinch internally, "I don't know..."

I quirked my eyebrow up at him.

"What? You never know with this town."

I pursued my lips. I guess he's right. This town is batshit crazy.

Stan sighed, "Why don't you just tell everyone?"

"That's the plan. We're gonna tell everyone that that intervention was unnecessary because I'm in love with you. You know, but in a less gay way."

Stan shook his head and buried his face in my neck. He was breathing heavy against my skin and strangely enough, it was calming.

"No, I think you should tell people the truth and then tell them that. You shouldn't just people assume you're gay if you're not."

Oh _God,_ not this conversation again. I turn away from him. I don't want to talk about this right now. So what if I still kind of like girls? I'm with Stan and I'm in love with him, why does it matter if people know I'm not totally gay?

"Kyle, don't turn away," He whimpered.

I grunted and shoved my face into the pillow.

"Ky, I don't understand why you don't want people to know you're bi."

Maybe because I'm not totally sure that I am.

I peeked up at him from the pillow. He still had his hand in my hair, playing with it. I turn my face back into the pillow.

"I don't know what I am."


	5. Chapter 5

I remember when Stan first told me he was gay.

I was 15 and I was over at Stan's house, spending the night. It was like 3:30 in the morning. We were just winding down from playing video games. I think a new game had just came out or something, I don't really remember. Anyway, I was really tired, I remember that. Stan and I were both laying in his bed, on the verge of sleep. I probably should have been sleeping in a sleeping bag or something but I remember that Stan didn't want me to be uncomfortable and claimed that "he didn't mind sharing."

I was finally about to drift off when I heard Stan say, as clear as day, "Dude, I think I'm gay."

Needless to say, I wasn't tired anymore.

My head snapped over in Stan's direction, "What?"

He slowly met my eye contact and swallowed. "I think I'm gay. Well, I'm pretty sure actually."

I sat up in his bed, "You're dating Wendy, Stan. You're not gay Stan."

Yeah, I fucking told my boyfriend that he wasn't gay when he tried to come out to me in the ninth grade. I know, I'm a moron. I just honestly couldn't believe it at the time.

Stan stared up at the ceiling for a while and didn't say anything. I had no idea what was going on his head. I was convinced that he was pulling some sort of joke on me, but damn, he seemed so serious. Probably because he was.

"I had sex with Wendy last week." He exhaled.

I met his gaze. "Dude," I breathed, barely audible.

He cringed and covered his eyes with his hands. "I know."

I couldn't stop looking at him. He had sex with Wendy. He had _sex_ with Wendy. He had sex with _Wendy. He had sex with Wendy._ I couldn't stop picturing anything and everything that they probably did.

Stan broke my train of thought. "It was terrible. Like _terrible._ I always heard it's kind of awkward the first time but...holy shit Kyle, I was terrible at it."

He paused as if to let me speak but I said nothing and continued to stare at him intently.

"I-I seriously couldn't get it up. I tried. I wanted to have sex. Or I thought I did. But when it came down to the thought of actually doing it with _Wendy,_ like actually doing it with with Wendy, I started getting really uncomfortable. I started to question why I always used to throw up around her. Is it really normal to throw up at the thought of kissing a girl?"

I looked away from him and focused on the pile of dirty clothes in corner of his room. "You were just a kid, Stan."

Stan ran his hands through his hair, "Still. It's _not_ normal. Anyway… Wendy must have thought that I was nervous or something so...she sucked me off until I was actually hard. From there, she did most of the work."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked incredulously.

He sat up next to me and wrapped his arms around his knees. "Because...I don't know. You're my best friend? The point is, I'm gay."

He looked pretty shook up, like he hadn't told anyone this before and I asked him if he had. He said no but he looked like he was afraid that I was going to flip out on him any second.

"Stan?"

He glanced at me, "Yeah?"

"Did you break up with Wendy?" For some reason, I remember that this was the hardest question to ask. I guess I was afraid that he would keep dating her so people wouldn't find out he was gay. And I was even more afraid that they would have sex again.

"Yeah. I uh, broke up with her this morning." He laid back down in his bed and I found myself following suit.

We were quiet for a while after that.

I think it was around 4 in the morning when I heard a whimper coming from Stan. I turned towards him and found his eyes shimmering with tears.

"Dude?" I asked, concerned.

"Don't hate me, okay?"

I remember kind of laughing, "I'm not going to hate you because you're gay. You're my best friend." I poked him, "You're my _super_ best friend."

He shoved my hand away and refused to make eye contact with me, "No. I, uh. I kinda, have a crush on you."

I remember that it felt like time stopped. Stan had a crush on _me?_ The fuck? I'm a loser. Why would he like me? I geek out over shows and video game. I enjoy playing _chess._ I'm going to be on the _debate team._ The only remotely cool thing about me is that I'm on the basketball team and even that's not that impressive.

Then I realized that I no objections to the fact that I was a boy and that he was a boy. Like, at all.

That's when I freaked out. I didn't want to be gay. Gay kids get picked on. Gay kids get exiled. Gay people can't get married. Gay people are made fun of.

I think that's when Stan saw that I was breathing all crazy.

"Dude!" Stan shook me, "Calm down! You don't have to like me back or anything. You're fine."

I'm fine? No I wasn't fine; apparently I was gay and I didn't even know it! And then I remember I started thinking like, really dirty thoughts about girls because I really wanted to see if I was actually gay.

Sure enough I got a boner. So I wasn't gay after all. But why didn't the idea of dating Stan freak me out?

But Stan's bed wasn't that big back then. Stan noticed my erection almost as quickly as I did.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Stan gasped.

"It's not- it's not what it looks like!" I screeched and Stan slammed his hand over my mouth and hushed me.

"Shh! My parents are sleeping you know!"

"Sorry." I whispered, sheepishly and put my hands over my crotch.

Again there was a silence between us.

I took a deep breath, "So you like, like-like me?"

Stan kind of chuckled and smiled slightly at me, "Yeah dude, I like-like you."

I looked at his face and started to analyze it. His eyes were deep blue and sincere. His smile was genuine. He looked...sort of cute. Huh. I never looked at him like that.

My eyes got stuck on his lips. I was so use to seeing those lips being attached to Wendy's. I wonder what it would be like if my lips touched his. I reached up and ran my fingers over his lips.

Stan half laughed, "Kyle, what are you doing?"

Without thinking I blurt out, "Can I kiss you?"

And with the same amount of speed he said yes.

Slowly I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. I remember he tasted like pizza rolls. I also remember how soft he felt.

* * *

I squeezed Stan's arms that were around me as I thought back on all this. He snored in response. I glanced up at his clock on his nightstand; it read 4:03 am. I hugged onto his arms tighter. He moaned and pulled me closer to his bare body.

So yes, we did end up having sex.

He felt so warm and soft pressed up against me. When we're together like this, I feel complete.

Tomorrow I'm gonna confront fucking Wendy and set things straight. I might not know exactly what I am but I do know that I love him. And that will never change.


End file.
